It’s January. On the earth of baseball NOTHING is going on of consequence within the minors. On a mind-mannered Wednesday afternoon the Portland Pickles, which I guarantee you is an actual crew, determined to show over their Twitter account to their mascot — and it didn’t take lengthy earlier than issues went actually, actually, actually unhealthy.
Warning: I’m about to point out you a photograph of a pickle’s penis. I don’t even know if this can be a NSFW warning, as a result of I’ve no method of understanding what your workplace coverage is because it pertains to mascot genitalia.
The Pickles turned their account over to “Dillon,” who’s their mascot — and truthfully, a very good title for a pickle, however what’s NOT good is seeing his bizarre pickle junk. It didn’t take lengthy earlier than folks misplaced their marbles at seeing the pickle dick, so the crew was compelled to subject a press release.
We have now ended our mascot takeover. It’s come to our consideration that this photograph will be misinterpreted as a disturbing picture. Dillon wish to go on document and say that he was making an attempt to provide his followers a thumbs up. https://t.co/5VUgkhieq2
— Portland Pickles (@picklesbaseball) January 12, 2022
The unique image tagged Manscaped, the boys’s grooming model, main us to consider this was all a sponsorship gone unsuitable — nevertheless it’s nonetheless left me with a variety of mechanical questions. I’m main this in gently as a result of it’s your probability to bail now and get away from this, as a result of I have to put my emotions on the web.
Okay warning over, let’s dive in.
Should you’re pickle and also you present your penis, then what’s a pickle’s penis? I imply, at greatest it’s a pickle protuberance, which ought to in all probability be evaluated by a pickle medical skilled to make sure this isn’t a cancerous tumor. If we assume that is certainly a pickle penis, what’s the aim of it? Does a pickle urinate brine? I do know that sounds gross, nevertheless it’s much better than imagining a pickle has kidneys able to producing dilute urea for the elimination of waste.
There’s simply no great way round any of this. You could possibly say we’re in an actual … pickle.